Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
that may or may not have been my penis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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