you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
