I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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