the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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