Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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