oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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