went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Oh god it's open bar.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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