I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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