well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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