Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize