I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize