shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
