She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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