she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
