It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
