During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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