ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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