My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
