its not stalking. its research.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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