I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
