This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
