the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize