Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
