I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
