I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I FOUND THE LEGS
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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