Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
