grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
