i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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