yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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