Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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