Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
