i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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