and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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