how can u be prego again
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
