He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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