I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
