Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
