Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it's like iHOP with fire
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
