I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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