I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
