The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
