At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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