our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
FUCK WHALES
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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