i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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