Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
