so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
