I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
