You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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