I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
