how can u be prego again
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
