dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
