u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
