Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
where am i from again
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
