yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
