So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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