fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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