My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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