ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
