This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
