I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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