I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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