My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All the doctor said was why
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
